Feeling Lost

Today I'm feeling lost. Waiting for another spasm to strike at any moment.....hating this Sabril because it makes him so drowsy and groggy, but holding my breath when he's sleeping because I don't want him to wake up and spasm. Loving the Sabril if it does , in fact, keep the seizures away. Worrying about his eye condition and possible vision loss. I know this is minor if he can catch up developmentally along the way, and , let's face it, guide dogs are CUTE. But looking at your baby and thinking "my baby is broken" is probably one of the most heartbreaking things a mother has to go through. I am so happy to go to bed each night because it's the only time I don't think about this issue, but when I wake up, I am right back at Oliver's bedside watching him for signs of another spasm. With all our technology today, we're still baffled at the human brain and how it works (or fails to work). Oliver had a clear MRI and his blood and urine tests came back fine. So there isn't a place to pinpoint , no lesion to remove, nothing is responsible for this as far as we know. How do you fix a problem if you can't find the source?